A Page from The Sage

Clergy colleagues processing into worship in 2010 when I was installed as rector of the parish I serve. Kingsley is in center.

The friendship began in 2007, when the Rev. P. Kingsley Smith came to meet my boss, the Rev. Mark Wastler, for lunch in Annapolis. They were discussing historiography and racism and The Episcopal Church, and went off to eat together. When they returned, Mark introduced us.

The friendship was cemented when, in 2010, we sat next to each other at a clergy conference in Ocean City, MD. The facilitators asked for people to share a story, then someone else would suggest a hymn for us to sing in response. Kingsley, somewhat unable to hear the details of the facilitator’s instructions, stood and began to recount an important historical moment. Ther facilitator re-explained the directions, and Kingsley sat down, a tad chuffed, saying to me loudly, “Dina, you are supposed to be my handler. Don’t let me get up until I’m supposed to!” And just like that, I became the handler on an octagenarian priest historiographer.

Kingsley speaks his mind, which can be frightening and exhilarating and hilarious. And his mind is agile, expansive, probing - constantly seeking and wondering and delighting. He wants to know what is REALLY on MY mind, what is REALLY in MY heart.

Until the pandemic, Kingsley and I enjoyed irregularly-scheduled lunch dates to check in with one another, and to wonder together at the “passionate prodigality of God.” That’s the kind of phrase Kingsley puts together. I love hearing him reflect on life, God, aging, history, ministry and current events. And I love sitting in the upscale atmosphere of Gertrude’s Restaurant for lunch, then strolling about in the Baltimore Museum of Art discussing the exhibits.

On Monday we met over zoom. Our conversations always include these two important questions:

How is Kingsley Smith? How is Dina van Klaveren?

How is Kingsley Smith?

Kingsley shared the Good News in his life- another great grand child on the way! (That will be number 9, if I’m keeping up with his sprawling clan.)

About himself & his wife, Breezy, Kingsley offered:

"When the party is over, we’ll go home. There are three possible party-over scenarios….

1. Make it to a century, and leave together. That’s the ideal.

2. Leave together, but sooner.

3. One of us leaves the party earlier than the other. It would be very hard for me if Breezy leaves first.”

How is Dina van Klaveren?

I shared the Good News in my life with Kingsley, starting with my excitement about my parents possibly moving to Maryland. And I told him about this blog.

In response, Kingsley pledged to organize his archived e-mail letters to his large clan, which go under the title of “A Page from the Sage.” I look forward to this collection, since the ones he has handed me over the years look like they each spent 4 months at the bottom of my purse. Which they did, of course, until rescued.

Friends not like me

Life would be so boring if all my friends were white straight church-going moms in their late forties who agreed with my politics. Where’s the challenge, the exploration of new content?

This Sage tells me tales from the days when new rectors were automatically members of the country club. He invites me to understand the beauty of a new intimacy in a long, long marriage where there is time to reflect more carefully, more openly with one another.

So, how is Dina van Klaveren?

Grateful.

Grateful to be your friend, Kingsley.